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The Myth of Forgiveness

In today's world, there's a pervasive demand for forgiveness. "Forgiveness is for you," they say. "Set yourself free," they insist. But when I respond with, "No, I'm good," they counter with, "You're choosing to suffer forever." I hear these arguments and accept that it's my choice, just as it was a choice for those who wronged me. What often crosses my mind is even God had His limits on forgiveness. If God Himself could decide not to forgive certain sins, shouldn't I have the autonomy to make the same decisions for my life? Shouldn't I be free from the world's judgment?

I don't forgive. I simply acknowledge that someone did something harmful, and I remember that so I can make appropriate choices moving forward. With that said, I am, however, amazed by those who can forgive on the level of Christ. Even if I believe some teachings were manipulations sanctioned by the church to control the masses, the ability to forgive so profoundly is remarkable.

It's interesting that my therapist often sits on a proverbial high horse, insisting that I forgive or else. Perhaps that's just my interpretation, but he seems heavily invested in me forgiving people whom I will never forgive. Do I believe in forgiveness? No, I think it's overrated. Even for the folks I've wronged—if they don't forgive me, I understand. I was wrong. I was selfish and didn't consider their feelings, and I don't deserve their forgiveness. I take responsibility for my actions and completely understand why they might choose not to forgive.

Now, I'm not talking about minor offenses like stepping on someone's new Jordans. I'm referring to the serious wrongdoings, the atrocities we've all committed at some point in our lives simply by being human. We are all guilty of some offense that may never be forgiven. What I want to promote is responsibility. Own that you were a jerk during a particular period of your life. Own that you hurt people. Own that you were wrong. Then let it go and strive to be a better person without looking back, waiting for those you wronged to forgive you. Because guess what? They don't have to. Accountability goes a long way, and dare I say, God respects that far more than self-pity.



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