I have a friend who’s going through a rough patch, dealing with the profound loss of their mother. They’re navigating the depths of grief, learning to cope with a reality I haven’t personally faced, but deeply empathize with. As I often say, “life be life’n,” meaning we all endure universal challenges that test our limits. It’s incredibly hard. This friend, let’s call them the G.O.A.T., has taught me a profound lesson: holding space for someone is as important as offering hugs or reassuring words. I deeply admire their honesty, humility, and hard work. They are an amazing human, but even they are not immune to sadness and grief.
We talked about their pain, and I could see the ache in their soul—a pain that is devastating to them and palpable to those who can see and feel it. The rawness of their grief is both heartbreaking and humbling. In these moments, I want to heal and comfort them, to take away their suffering. The dad in me wants to make everything better, to shield them from the pain. But I’ve come to understand that some wounds are beyond our power to heal. All I can do is offer my presence and my love.
Holding space is an act of profound compassion. It means allowing them to vent, cry, laugh, or sit in silence, without judgment or interruption. It requires patience and empathy, a willingness to sit with their discomfort and pain. This might seem small, but it is incredibly powerful. By being there, by showing up, we provide a safe space where they can process their emotions and begin to heal. It’s not about fixing their pain but acknowledging it, validating their feelings, and letting them know they are not alone.
In these moments, we say “I love you” to each other because, in the face of life’s hardships, love is the only remedy for such deep wounds. Love, however, takes time to heal—it works on its own timeline. We wait and hold on, learning to become new versions of ourselves—the versions with scars and the dust of everyday life. This process is not easy, but it is necessary. It shapes us into the people we are meant to be, stronger and more resilient. Together, we will emerge ready to face whatever life throws our way, knowing that in our shared experiences, we find the strength to carry on.
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