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Writer's pictureDarrian Douglas

How to Cope with Grief

In the quiet moments away from life's distractions, I find myself dreaming of family members who have transitioned to the next life. When I close my eyes, their presence is almost tangible – I see their faces, hear their laughter, and feel their warm embraces. They live on within me, a comforting yet poignant reminder of what I've lost.


I often reflect on the profound impact my aunts, uncle, and grandmother had on my life. Their absence is a void that I still struggle to come to terms with. Just the other day, amidst the usual hustle and bustle, I found myself lost in thoughts of them. I was sitting in a crowded sprinter van, surrounded by my bandmates and friends. Their laughter and jokes filled the air, creating an atmosphere of camaraderie and joy. Yet, there I was, enveloped in my grief, longing for those who have become part of God's greater plan.


Grief, I've come to realize, wears the mask of normalcy. It's the unassuming face of the mother picking out groceries, the friendly postman delivering mail, and even me, a drummer traveling the world. To the outside observer, grief seems to have an expiration date – a point at which one is expected to move on. But for those of us who have experienced loss, grief is an ever-present companion, a solitary journey through memories and what-ifs.


This journey has taught me that grief doesn't need to be a solitary path. Sharing our experiences, our memories, and our pain can help bridge the gap between isolation and understanding. It's okay to speak of those we've lost, to celebrate their lives, and to acknowledge the impact of their absence. And so, I choose to honor them – not just in moments of solitude but in the very music I create, the beats I play, and the stories I share.


They continue to inspire and guide me, their legacy echoing in every rhythm and melody.

In embracing my grief, I've learned to find strength in vulnerability, to seek solace in the community, and to appreciate the profound depth of our human connections. Grief doesn't have an expiration date, but neither does love – and it's in this love that we find the courage to move forward, carrying the memories of those we've lost close to our hearts.


Stay Strong.


Darrian Douglas




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